【英文添削】英語で「帰国子女」ってなんていう?

【英文添削】英語で「帰国子女」ってなんていう?

僕が言語交換のSNSでネイティブや英語話者たちから受けた添削を紹介します。ここは基本ボランティアのサイトで僕は日記のように朝夕の通勤時とかにスマホで書いてアップして添削を受けるって感じでやってました。

今回の日記は2015年7月22日のものです。下の子が英語スピーチコンテストの出場者に選ばれた時の話です。はい、ということで日記添削行きます!

添削前の日記

 

Speech in English

The other day, in the parent meeting, my younger daughter’s teacher told my wife that my daughter was appointed to a presentation in English at her schools festival in October. I don’t know why she was chosen. Her school has at least 10 to 15 returned students. Did she say something a lot in English native speaker teacher’s class?

Anyway, I’m glad to hear that. My elder daughter said that she applied to do an English speech in her school festival in October. She’ll have an audition and two students will be selected. It’s just only her perspective, but there’s only two students who has good pronunciations and accent. One is returned student from the UK and another student is herself. f^_^;)
Well, it’s good to have a confidence. Haha. Good luck girls!

日本語版日記

 

英語スピーチ

先日の保護者面談で妻が先生から下の子が10月に行われる文化祭で行われる英語スピーチの講演者に選ばれたと聞いてきた。下の子が通う学校には少なくとも10人から15人くらいの帰国子女がいるので、なんでうちの子が選ばれたのかわかりません。ネイティブの先生の英語の授業で何かたくさん発言したのかな。

とにかくうれしいニュースです。それから上の子は10月に行われる学校の文化祭の英語スピーチに応募したらしい。英語スピーチにはオーディションがあって2人が選ばれるらしいです。下の子のだけの見立てですが、発音が良くて、スムースに話せるのは2人しかいないらしく、一人はイギリスからの帰国子女でもう一人は自分自身らしい。f^_^;)
まぁ、自信を持つことはいいことです。笑 二人ともがんばれ〜!

講演会

ネイティブからの添削例


赤字は修正
青字は他の表現※は解説

Speech in English
B: English Speech

 

1) The other day, in the parent meeting, my younger daughter’s teacher told my wife that my daughter was appointed to a presentation in English at her schools festival in October.

A: The other day, during the parent meeting, my younger daughter’s teacher told my wife that my daughter was asked to give a presentation in English at her schools festival in October.

B: The other day, at in the parent-teacher meeting, my youngest daughter’s teacher told my wife that my daughter was appointed to do a presentation in English at her schools festival in October.

C: The other day, at parent-teacher night, my younger daughter’s teacher told my wife that my daughter was selected to do a presentation in English at her school’s festival in October.

E: The other day, in the parent-teacher meeting, my younger daughter’s teacher told my wife that my daughter had been selected to give a presentation in English at her school’s festival in October.

※ C: カナダでは “parent-teacher night” というそうです。夜にやるんですね。
※ うちは子ども二人なんですけどその場合でもYoungestです。

 

2) I don’t know why she was chosen.

A, B, C, D, E: 添削必要なし

 

3) Her school has at least 10 to 15 returned students.

A, B, D, E: 添削必要なし

C: Her school has at least 10 to 15 returnee students (kikokushijo).

※この帰国子女ってあんまり海外に概念がないのか添削がぶれます。たぶん returned、returnee、状況説明的にShe lived abroad for a long time とか。いろんな言い方で言ってるみたいですね。

 

4) Did she say something a lot in English native speaker teacher’s class?

A: Did she talk a lot in the English native speaker teacher’s class?

B: Did she say something a lot in the native English speaker teacher’s class?

C: Did she speak up a lot in her English native speaker teacher’s class?

E: Did she speak up a lot in the native English speaker teacher’s class?

※ C: ”speak up”は”(他の人がためらう中)自信を持って話す”ということです。
他の例として
“If you disagree with the teacher, you should speak up!”
“He needs to speak up more in meetings with his boss.”
などを教えてもらいました。

 

5) Anyway, I’m glad to hear that.

A, B, C, D: 添削必要なし

E: Anyway, I was glad to hear that.

※日記として後から語ってるなら過去形?って感じですかね。

 

6) My elder daughter said that she applied to do an English speech in her school festival in October.

B: My eldest daughter said that she applied to do an English speech at in her school festival in October.

D: My elder daughter said that she applied to do an English speech at her school festival in October.

E: My elder daughter said that she had applied to do an English speech in her school festival in October.

※二人姉妹の上の子はEldestになります。
※Eの添削者から”俺、時制に厳しいんだよね”って。笑
すみません、ほんと。。。爆

 

7) She’ll have an audition and two students will be selected.

B: She’ll have an audition, and then two students will be selected.

A, C, D, E: 添削必要なし

※”and then/それでぇ”ですかね。違う表現です。

 

8) It’s just only her perspective, but there’s only two students who has good pronunciations and accent.

A: It’s just only her perspective, but there’s only two students who have good pronunciation and accent. 1 people think this correction is good.

B: It’s just only her perspective, but there’s only two students who have has good pronunciations and accents.

C: According to her there are only two students who have good pronunciations and accent.

※C: just と only はかぶっちゃう感じですね。

 

9) One is returned student from the UK and another student is herself. f^_^;)

A: One is a returned student from the UK and another student is herself.

B: One is a returned student from the UK, and another the other student is herself.

C: One is a returnee from the UK and the other student is herself.

※Bが一番自然なのかな。。。

 

10) Well, it’s good to have a confidence.

A: Well, it’s good to have a confidence.

B: Well, it’s good to have a confidence. / Well, it’s good to be confident.

※ 違う言い方です。

 

11) Haha. Good luck girls!

A, B, C, D, E: 添削必要なし

 

まとめ

 

今回は全員ネイティブのアメリカ人4人、カナダ人から添削を受けています。Cはカナダ人の友人です。日本語でもそうですけどいろんな表現があって見比べると勉強になりますね。

あ、ちなみにスピーチコンテストは優秀賞をもらってます。そんなに下の子の学校は帰国子女といっても長く滞在していた子はいなかったみたいで。なのでうちの子にってことでした。ま、なんにしてもおめでとうってことで。

では今後も日記の添削シリーズ続けていますね。

僕の日記添削の体験談その他ついてはこちらです。
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