【英文添削】英語で「温存する」ってなんていう?

【英文添削】英語で「温存する」ってなんていう?

僕が言語交換のSNSでネイティブや英語話者たちから受けた添削を紹介します。ここは基本ボランティアのサイトで僕は日記のように朝夕の通勤時とかにスマホで書いてアップして添削を受けるって感じでやってました。

今回の日記は2015年7月13日のものです。思い出しました。。。あったあった。これめっちゃくちゃ悔しかった時の日記です。

自分のことじゃないのに、いや自分のことじゃないから余計に? はい、では日記添削行きます!

添削前の日記

It Was Pity

It’s really hot and humid this morning. It’s still before 7am, it’s already 81F/27C here in the Tokyo area. It was also hot yesterday. I went to see my youngest daughter’s tennis game. It was team competition tournament and my daughter was selected as a member. However, my daughter didn’t call for the second round member. Her team was seeded, so the tournament started form the second round. Unfortunately her team lost 1-4. If her team used my daughter for the singles match, I’m sure her team could win the game. Her coach told me that she wanted keep my daughter for the next round because it would start right after the game. I hate to say, but I wonder the coach didn’t watch and research on their opponent before the game. The opponent played the game until just before their game! The coach should use the best member. Well, my daughter is 7th grader and just started to play in her middle school. It was a little bit disappointing, but I hope she’ll do her best in the next tournament.

日本語版日記

 

残念

今朝は朝から暑くて湿気が多い。まだ7時前なのに東京は27Cにもなってる。昨日も暑かった。僕は末っ娘のテニスの試合の応援に行った。試合は団体戦で娘はメンバーに選ばれていた。でも娘は2回戦のメンバーに呼ばれなかった。娘のチームはシードされていて2回戦からの出場だった。残念ながらチームは1-4で敗退。もしうちの娘をシングルスに起用していたら、チームは勝っていたと思う。監督は試合後にすぐ次のラウンドが始まるのでうちの娘を温存しておきたかったと言っていた。こんなことはあまり言いたくないけど、コーチは対戦相手を見て調査してなかったんだろうか。対戦相手は試合のすぐ前まで初戦を戦ってたのに。監督はベストメンバーで行くべきだったと思う。まぁ、娘はまだ一年生で中学の試合に出始めたばかり。今回の試合は残念だったけど、次の試合ではベストを尽くしてがんばってほしい。

テニスボール

ネイティブからの添削例


赤字は修正
青字は他の表現※は解説

It Was Pity

A, B: It Was a Pity

 

1) It’s really hot and humid this morning.

A, B: 添削必要なし

※英語の日記を日本で書くとよく使う表現ですね。

 

2) It’s still before 7am, it’s already 81F/27C here in the Tokyo area.

A: It’s not even 7am yet, but it’s already 81F/27C here in the Tokyo area.

B: It’s still not even 7am, yet it’s already 81F/27C here in the Tokyo area.

※Fは華氏です。

 

3) It was also hot yesterday.

A, B: 添削必要なし

 

4) I went to see my youngest daughter’s tennis game.

A: I went to see my youngest daughter’s tennis match.

B: 添削必要なし

※違う言い方ですね。

 

5) It was team competition tournament and my daughter was selected as a member.

A: It was a team competition tournament, and my daughter was selected as a member.

※冠詞忘れ。

 

6) However, my daughter didn’t call for the second round member.

A:However, my daughter wasn’t called on for the second round member.

※be called on で 〜に呼ばれる

 

7) Her team was seeded, so the tournament started form the second round.

A: Her team was seeded, so they started the tournament from the second round.

B: Her team was seeded, so the tournament started from the second round.

※これはAの添削がやっぱり自然でしょうね。間違いました。

 

8) Unfortunately her team lost 1-4.

A: 添削必要なし

B: Unfortunately, her team lost 1-4.

※こまかく添削してもらってありがたいです。

 

9) If her team used my daughter for the singles match, I’m sure her team could win the game.

A: If her team had used my daughter for the singles match, I’m sure her team could have won the game.

B: 添削必要なし

※このあたりの時制はほんと難しいです。

 

10) Her coach told me that she wanted keep my daughter for the next round because it would start right after the game.

A: Her coach told me that she wanted to save my daughter for the next round because it would start right after the game.

B: Her coach told me that she wanted to keep my daughter for the next round because it would start right after the game.

※ to save 〜もしくは to keep〜で ”〜 を温存する”です。

 

11) I hate to say, but I wonder the coach didn’t watch and research on their opponent before the game.

A: I hate to say it, but I wonder if the coach didn’t watch and research on their opponent before the game.

B: I hate to say this, but I wonder if the coach didn’t watch and research on their opponent before the game.

※目的語が必要でした。あとwonder の if もこのころよく付け忘れてましたね。

 

12) The opponent played the game until just before their game!

A: The opponent played in the first round, just before their game!

B: The opponent played a game until just before their game!

※これはぁ、Aの添削がより自然なんでしょうね。

 

13) The coach should use the best member.

A: The coach should have used the best players.

B: The coach should use the best members.

※違う言い方です。

 

14) Well, my daughter is 7th grader and just started to play in her middle school.

A: Well, my daughter is a 7th grader and just started to play in her middle school.

B: Well, my daughter is a 7th grader and just started to play in her middle school.

※冠詞忘れ、ふたたび。。。

 

15) It was a little bit disappointing, but I hope she’ll do her best in the next tournament.

A, B: 添削必要なし

まとめ

今回はアメリカ人2人から添削を受けています。このころよく添削を付けてくれてた二人で日本語もうまい人だったので添削はとっても信頼がおけると思います。

それにしても、、、あいかわらず冠詞忘れ多いですね。ざーっと書いて、書き直したりいろいろしてるんですけど、つい見過ごしてしまいます。ほんとむずいって言い訳ですが。

ということで今後も日記の添削シリーズ続けていますね。

僕の日記添削の体験談その他ついてはこちらです。
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